I Dreamed a Dream
by fly-away-free
Summary: A year later, Hermione is still in emotional pain from her summer with Viktor Krum. It keeps coming back to her. The story of what he did to her- and an easy way out. Read and Review, please.


Disclaimer: Hermione Granger and Viktor Krum are both fictional characters that belong to solely to JK Rowling.  
The first song in bold is owned by Simple Plan. The second song in bold is from the Broadway musical, Les Miserables. In no way do I own these characters or songs.

A/N: This does not represent any of my thoughts. I like Simple Plan. I am a practising Catholic. This is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes only.

Enjoy!

I sit in my room, staring out the window through the cracks in the blinds that I closed in a fruitless attempt to lock out the warmth of this bright sunny day. The sunlight shines, falling in lines across me. Aimlessly, I switch through the selection of stations. I come across a song halfway done.

**To be hurt, to feel lost, **

**To be left out in the dark,**

**To be kicked when you're down,**

**You feel like you've been pushed around,**

**To be on the edge of breaking dow-**

I slam down on the 'snooze' button to stop the stupid whiny teenage song. I bite my lip so hard I taste the metallic taste of blood. The pain feels good. Physically pain is the only thing that can break through this barrier of hurt.

Cautiously I hit the play button again. More of the song comes on.

**No one ever lied straight to your face,**

**No one ever stabbed you in the back,**

**You might think I'm happy, but I'm not gonna be oka-**

What the bloody hell do they know about backstabbing liars? They're just a bloody rich pop wanna-be-punk band bitching about the fact that they got dumped. Big fucking deal.

Angrily I yank the plug out of the socket. The luminous red letters telling the time on my digital clock radio fade. Mad, thinking that I'll just have to reset the damned thing to the proper time, I begin to riffle through my drawers. Finally I find it. A smooth, shiny silver object. No, not a knife. A discman. I jab the open button. Les Miserables, Disc 1, the CD says. Perfect. No more angsty teenage pop. Thank God.

I walk out of my house moments later. Not knowing where I'm going, only knowing I have to leave for awhile, I hop on the bus and hit 'play' on my discman.

**There was a time when men were kind,**

**When their voices were soft,**

**And their words inviting,**

**There was a time when love was blind,**

And the world was a song, 

**And the song was exciting,**

**There was a time….**

**Then it all went wrong.**

I bite my lip again, although this time there is no taste of blood. I only bite it to stop a whimper from escaping my mouth. I screw up my eyes, not to avoid the sunlight, but to stop the tears from falling.

Yes, I knew a time when men were kind. Their words _were _inviting. Too inviting. But as the song says, love was blind. The world was a song, a happy song, and exciting song. But then the time came, where it all went wrong…

**I dreamed a dream in time gone by**

**When hope was high**

**And life worth living**

**I dreamed that love would never die**

**I dreamed that God would be forgiving**

**Then I was young and unafraid**

**And dreams were made and used and wasted**

**There was no ransom to be paid**

**No song unsung, no wine untasted**

How true this bloody song is.

**I dreamed a dream in time gone by,**

**When hope was high,**

**And life worth living,**

There was life worth living for me, once. Worth living because _he_ was in my life.

**I dreamed that love would never die…**

Foolishly I dreamed that…

**I dreamed that God would be forgiving,**

Foolishly, foolishly…

**Then I was young and unafraid,**

I am still young, but no longer unafraid… there is always fear now, to keep me company…

**And dreams were made and used and wasted,**

**There was no ransom to be paid,**

**No song unsung, no wine untasted.**

I laugh hollowly inside my head. Oh, there is a ransom. There's _always_ something to be paid for the slightest bit of happiness. Oh, the angels are jealous… they make you pay for every single laugh and giggle and smile with a teardrop of blood.

But the tigers come at night 

**With their voices soft as thunder**

**As they tear your hope apart**

And they turn your dream to shame 

They come at night and they rip apart your happiness, they come stealthily and you never, ever see them coming… they come and then nothing is right and the cup of happiness from which you once drunk is dashed upon the floor, like your foolish hopes and dreams and they lay broken in pieces, broken and smashed in pieces you can never put back together… something magic will never be able to put together no matter how hard you try, there are some wounds that run too deep and they bleed and bleed and bleed….

My tiger came in human form, and his name was Viktor Krum.

**He slept a summer by my side,**

**He filled my days with endless wonder,**

**He took my childhood in his stride,**

But he was gone when autumn came, 

He took my childhood, my innocence, I trusted him and gave him everything I was. Oh, we had the most beautiful time together… he showed me what I believed was true love. How I wish I hadn't gone there now, but it is too late, what is done cannot be undone, my childhood is gone. And so is he. Gone with the first autumn wind.

**And still I dream he'll come to me,**

**That we will live the years together,**

**But there are dreams that cannot be,**

And there are storms we cannot weather, 

Yes, in spite of it all I'd take him back… I dream he comes to me, and maybe, I hold onto the hope that my wounds and bruises will go away, that he will make everything better with a kiss and an 'I love you, Hermy-own…'. Because he knows my weaknesses, me, the smart, the talented, Hermione Granger, the one who has no weakness… but he breaks down all my defenses like a house of cards against a cannon, and I am helpless under his gaze.

**But there are dreams that cannot be,**

My dreams cannot be… he will never return.

**And there are storms we cannot weather**,

He isn't strong enough to face it, what he did to me, what he did was permanent. We cannot weather this, I must face it… alone. I must face the shame and exile of teenage pregnancy alone. The social stigma of a whore. I am only, selfishly, glad that my son was a miscarriage. That he didn't have to face life without a father. That I didn't have to parent him alone. Because my parents would not support him. No, my parents now hate me.

**I had a dream my life would be,**

**So different from this hell I'm living,**

**So different now from what it seemed,**

**Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.**

My dreams and hopes are dead… killed by a summer of happiness and passion… the sweet, innocent, Hermione Granger is one of the walking dead, eternally restless…

**I had a dream my life would be**

I had oh so many dreams for my life! There was so much I still had to do… so much… and now my hopes are dashed…

**So different from this hell I'm living**

I am living in hell. My soul is being tortured. Don't tell me that God is there for me… there is no God. Not in this world. How can God let this happen to me? If there is a God, he is jealous, angry. Jealous of my happiness. Angry enough that He would punish me like this, torture me in this hell.

**So different now from what it seemed**

It seemed okay for a short while… Viktor found out I was pregnant and took it rather well. I should have examined the look on his face more closely. The next day he was gone, didn't even leave a note. He left me. I couldn't believe it. I believe it now, now my innocence has been torn away.

**Now life has killed the dream I dreamed….**

I lean back in my seat, and close my eyes, the darkness and pain enveloping me. I grapple with my thoughts, and decide I don't need this kind of pain. The next stop is the river. I walk to the bridge, and look down. There is no need for my life to go on. No one that would miss me.

God, if you're really there, you would stop me from doing this, I think.

I wait for a minute, then laugh bitterly to myself. What am I kidding. God doesn't care.

No one does. I don't even care myself anymore.

But there is one thing that I care enough to do. And that is jump

A/N: If you read this, please have the courtesy to review. All reviews welcome. Constructive critisism is needed.

LIKE IT? HATE IT? REVIEW PLEASE!


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